Thoughts on Self Confidence

"I could never wear that!" "Wow, she looks so good, unlike me." ""Ugh, did you see her outfit?" "You're so much smarter than me." There are just a few examples of the toxic thoughts everyone has on a day to day basis. Now I'm not here today to rant about how having toxic thoughts every once and a while is bad and you should only ever be positive and happy. That is ridiculous, unless you are a robot. The best way to increase your self-confidence is to allow yourself to think negative things and realize that as long as you have positive thoughts to balance them out and as long as you don't bring down others with poor thoughts then it is okay. 

I find so often that it is considered bad or weak to be sad sometimes, heck, I still have trouble showing any cracks in my put-together facade. And while there is no trick to self confidence, a huge part of being yourself is accepting that it's okay to show weakness but it is not okay to let negative thoughts run your life. Being a teenage girl, and especially one that is quite level-headed and analytical, I often get the ability to observe tendencies of girls (and boys) my age and often other ages as well and I've found that many are too wrapped up in life and social media and appearances. When did it become uncool to just enjoy that big slice of pie with a heap of whipped cream? When did not being interested in relationships turn into "Oh, she must be a prude or something"? And on the flip side, when did wanting relationships turn into "She's way too boy-crazy"? Humans tend to make many assumptions about the world around them, I mean there is so much to learn and know, making assumptions is part of human nature, but it's when we make the assumption that we are worse or less than someone that our self confidence starts to evaporate. 

Now, I'm not here to tell you how to be more confident, that's for you to figure out. We all have different minds and comfort zones, different skills and problems; how can I judge the best way to be more confident if I'm not you? I think that's the biggest problem of all. Everyone is constantly telling us to just get out there and be confident but how? The only people who know how our minds work are ourselves. The best way that works for me is to always put my best foot forward. No half-assing, no excuses, confidence for me is giving myself the tools for success and using them to my advantage. That is why I love fashion so much, it gives me a chance to express who I am and what my goals are. The clothes I wear reflect my confidence and reflect me as I wish to be seen by others. 

After hearing of some of my friends struggles I realize that I am an anomaly in today's society. I have always been pretty confident, I have good days and bad days like everyone else, but for the most part I am so in love with myself and what I have accomplished that sometimes I feel guilty. Should I be able to flaunt my self confidence when there are others tearing themselves down day-in and day-out? Even writing this paragraph is difficult for me, but I think it's important for people to know that there are those out there that are confident and I wish with all my heart that I knew how to spread this feeling to others. I wish there was a magic key I could give you that could unlock the confidence gates and help the positivity flow into your heart and mind. But alas, all I can do is tell you to keep going, keep improving yourself, get help if you need it (there is no shame in that), and learn more about yourself. The more you know the more you can use to build a strong foundation to lay the bricks of confidence. 

If you take anything away from this post it's that while it is hard, you must find out how to build confidence in yourself. Do not live life without learning how to love yourself first. And please, embrace positivity!

And as always, thanks for reading!